Legal Laughs

While the law and the legal profession is a serious business, it also has a lighter side. Just to show you that we don’t always take ourselves too seriously, here’s some of our favourite lawyer jokes.

What's the problem with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they are jokes!

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of Sydney Harbour?
A good start!

What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
Who cares?

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?” said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

In the USA, everything that is not prohibited by law is permitted.
In Germany, everything that is not permitted by law is prohibited.
In Russia, everything is prohibited, even if permitted by law.
In France, everything is permitted, even if prohibited by law.
In Switzerland, everything that is not prohibited by law is obligatory.
In Australia, ………

A man went to his lawyer and said, "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."
The lawyer said, "No problem, leave it all to me."
The man looked somewhat upset and said, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too!"